Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
