so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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