You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
