i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
