I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
