omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
