everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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