you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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