Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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