WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
