just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
