Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
