You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
