he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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