where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize