Dual....:-)
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
