I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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