and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
