I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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