: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
