Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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