he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
