Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize