How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
