I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
