1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it's like heaven, but drunker
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
