You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
