Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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