hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
