I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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