Is it normal to miss your booty call?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
