So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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