glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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