I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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