Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
