so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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