PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
