I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
