I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
