A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
