she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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