Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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