Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
