I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize