Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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