And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
