At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
