Whatcha textin bout Willis?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
