You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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