and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
