Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
