Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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