It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
