her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
