does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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