If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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