I bet he comes in French.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
