Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
