took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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