I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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