I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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