My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
