i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
