I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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