someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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