please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
